This is why i'm sick of facebook!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
ohs shit.
i think im in love. but it's so wrong. no i do not like blue pen anymore. im talking about a dude this time. i fucking love him. it's amazing how one gig changes everything. arrgh forget it deana bananna
themotherfuckingthingsdeanawantstoaccomplish.
woahs. long title. ohkays i'm going to make a list and by the end of this year, or early next year, i will accomplish these THINGS! wheee :)
THINGS DEANA WANTS TO ACCOMPLISH
1) Perform at LEPAQ! At least satu gig also boleh jadi.
2) Fucking lose weight. i have too, my mom won't stop nagging about me not fitting into a skimpy bikini.
3) At least write a few nice, uptempo, upbeat, poppy, britney kinda songs.
4) Go to a goddaym concert at least. 30stm coming! gue cinta Jared Leto.
5) Go to the Jonas Brother's World Concert. hahaha inyourfacegaylords!
6) Meet Surrender The Dance Floor?!?
7) Read 100 books. (i borrowed 4 so 96 more to go)
8) Argh get a facial. My face so many pimples. I gtg get one by this month.
9) New hair. New hair. New hair. I have my eyes on Haley Bennet's hair in Music and Lyrics.
10) Get a goddam boyfriend. wheee
i think thats about it. wheeeee
x deana bananna ps:- ending it with an awesome song :)
THINGS DEANA WANTS TO ACCOMPLISH
1) Perform at LEPAQ! At least satu gig also boleh jadi.
2) Fucking lose weight. i have too, my mom won't stop nagging about me not fitting into a skimpy bikini.
3) At least write a few nice, uptempo, upbeat, poppy, britney kinda songs.
4) Go to a goddaym concert at least. 30stm coming! gue cinta Jared Leto.
5) Go to the Jonas Brother's World Concert. hahaha inyourfacegaylords!
6) Meet Surrender The Dance Floor?!?
7) Read 100 books. (i borrowed 4 so 96 more to go)
8) Argh get a facial. My face so many pimples. I gtg get one by this month.
9) New hair. New hair. New hair. I have my eyes on Haley Bennet's hair in Music and Lyrics.
10) Get a goddam boyfriend. wheee
i think thats about it. wheeeee
x deana bananna ps:- ending it with an awesome song :)
Friday, April 24, 2009
your not innocent too.
a quote,
Currently, I'm in a state of confusion. Someone is blowing my brains out and eating the parts specifically responsible for thinking and sorting shit out. I don't know how to deal with this one person anymore. You tell her the truth when she asks for it, and she gets pissed. So what do you want me to do? Lie? Say that you're such a perfect friend? Well I was being honest and from now on, I will tell you everything I hate about you. The truth will hurt. So if you don't want my opinion, don't ask me for it. And don't ask for help for ANYTHING. I've had it with you.
my opinion,
personally, i would argue with you. but i find that very immature. what i learnt from you is that well, people tend to hide their true colours and well some people just can't accept reality. well, im a grown up now. and i'm trying my best to accept reality. the problem is, im a teenager, and its not easy being one. my dear enemy, you have been nothing but a total pain in my ass. you always think that ur right. when your wrong. i accepted my faults. why can't you?
people tend to hide their true colours from others but im very open. i can't hide things. if you think im emotionally unstable, well then your bipolar. you can't judge people, not because your a nobody but because you have no right to judge anyone. call me a bad friend, all i have to say is look in a mirror, you're no better. you're still a bitch. always have and always will. i can't determine wether u'll still be like this, cause well, i dont predict the future. you can change it yourself.
i used to hate my life. not until someone very close to my heart told me that i have to keep living. i have to think of happy thoughts. and i realised that i don't want to die like this. i want to leave my mark in the world. i want to be missed terribly by people when i die. but well, im still alive. maybe my life may suck for now but who knows, i could be someone. anything can happen. whenever im alone, i ask myself. 'what do i live for?' for two years, i couldn't come up with an answer. but when i went to redang and sat on the beach, i remembered that god created me for a reason. all of us are created for a reason. we're basically like sand. tiny, frail, helpless but united. we are strong. we have the right to make an impression before we leave. each of us, have a reason to live. my reason is simple. i want to be an inspiration to my parents. i want to prove to them that i can handle the real world. and right now, the problems i have maybe monumental to me but to the real world, its a tiny microscopic problem. my dad maybe shitty but deep down, i know that both him and my mom are just preparing me for the real world. cause, life and reality sucks. we have to accept that.
change.
i used to hate that word. change. i can't accept change because, i wanted things to still be the same. i didnt want friends to leave me. it's because i can't accept the fact that eventually, ever friend will leave. i realised that friends leave after they teach you a valuable lesson in life. after that, its time to make new friends. it's time to learn new lessons. and, i have to let my old friends go. its time for new lessons. the wheel keeps spinning round and round. evolution occurred because change took place. i have to evolve. because, my environment is changing. everyone, has to evolve.
conclusion,
im still the same old naive bitch. but at least i know whats right and what's wrong. i don't abandon people. they abandon me. and, i have to evolve. i have to change. develop. (i feel like a lecturer.)i couldn't accept reality. so what?
Omama, can YOU accept REALITY?
and besides, blaming me for your problems won't solve anything. i know my mistakes and im trying my best to change.
ps:- it takes two hands to clap.
Currently, I'm in a state of confusion. Someone is blowing my brains out and eating the parts specifically responsible for thinking and sorting shit out. I don't know how to deal with this one person anymore. You tell her the truth when she asks for it, and she gets pissed. So what do you want me to do? Lie? Say that you're such a perfect friend? Well I was being honest and from now on, I will tell you everything I hate about you. The truth will hurt. So if you don't want my opinion, don't ask me for it. And don't ask for help for ANYTHING. I've had it with you.
my opinion,
personally, i would argue with you. but i find that very immature. what i learnt from you is that well, people tend to hide their true colours and well some people just can't accept reality. well, im a grown up now. and i'm trying my best to accept reality. the problem is, im a teenager, and its not easy being one. my dear enemy, you have been nothing but a total pain in my ass. you always think that ur right. when your wrong. i accepted my faults. why can't you?
people tend to hide their true colours from others but im very open. i can't hide things. if you think im emotionally unstable, well then your bipolar. you can't judge people, not because your a nobody but because you have no right to judge anyone. call me a bad friend, all i have to say is look in a mirror, you're no better. you're still a bitch. always have and always will. i can't determine wether u'll still be like this, cause well, i dont predict the future. you can change it yourself.
i used to hate my life. not until someone very close to my heart told me that i have to keep living. i have to think of happy thoughts. and i realised that i don't want to die like this. i want to leave my mark in the world. i want to be missed terribly by people when i die. but well, im still alive. maybe my life may suck for now but who knows, i could be someone. anything can happen. whenever im alone, i ask myself. 'what do i live for?' for two years, i couldn't come up with an answer. but when i went to redang and sat on the beach, i remembered that god created me for a reason. all of us are created for a reason. we're basically like sand. tiny, frail, helpless but united. we are strong. we have the right to make an impression before we leave. each of us, have a reason to live. my reason is simple. i want to be an inspiration to my parents. i want to prove to them that i can handle the real world. and right now, the problems i have maybe monumental to me but to the real world, its a tiny microscopic problem. my dad maybe shitty but deep down, i know that both him and my mom are just preparing me for the real world. cause, life and reality sucks. we have to accept that.
change.
i used to hate that word. change. i can't accept change because, i wanted things to still be the same. i didnt want friends to leave me. it's because i can't accept the fact that eventually, ever friend will leave. i realised that friends leave after they teach you a valuable lesson in life. after that, its time to make new friends. it's time to learn new lessons. and, i have to let my old friends go. its time for new lessons. the wheel keeps spinning round and round. evolution occurred because change took place. i have to evolve. because, my environment is changing. everyone, has to evolve.
conclusion,
im still the same old naive bitch. but at least i know whats right and what's wrong. i don't abandon people. they abandon me. and, i have to evolve. i have to change. develop. (i feel like a lecturer.)i couldn't accept reality. so what?
Omama, can YOU accept REALITY?
and besides, blaming me for your problems won't solve anything. i know my mistakes and im trying my best to change.
ps:- it takes two hands to clap.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
; can't wait another minute
she's finally gone
he's finally mine
it's my turn now
she was his cinderella
and now im his sleeping beauty
wait
cross the beauty out
im waiting for the day snow white got poisoned by the apple
so that finally
i can let the blue pen
err i mean prince charming
love me (:
she ruined my life
she took my other half away
well, now its mhy turn
watch out!
Getting hurt was painful and unbearable.
FRIENDS
hah- thats what people brag about. ooh i have friends, ooh she's my bestfriend! OOOH
well, screw friends. yeah screw em! why?
they say they'll be there for you. but they'll leave you.
you think they appreciate you? mine don't even give a fuck about me.
if you were on a plane and there's only one parachute, they'll jump down first leaving you behind!
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS NOW?
why am i telling you this?
well let me tell you why...
1) i have friends too. call em my besties, but when they leave...they hardly know me. just like today.
2) no one ever appreciates me. its always like that.
3) no one ever liked me. if they did, they would contact me to inform me bout stuff. i don't have to find it out for myself.
4) i was never happy. no one even cares.
5) there are some people who write in autograph books and they put emotional people under their hate-list. and then, they call me emo. if you hate me just say it!
6) i don't really care about people making fun of me. cause i will shrug it off the next minute. but if people who i call friends make fun of my looks, it hurts alot. and they don't only do it once. they do it alot of times.
7) sometimes, it would be nice to know certain secrets. i hate finding it out for myself.
SO WTH?!? THERE'S ALOT MORE TO WRITE BUT BASICALLY, IT'LL HURT ME MORE.
SOMETIMES I HOPE THAT YOU GUYS WILL CHANGE BUT MOSTLY, I WANT YOU GUYS TO REALISE THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. BUT YOU PEOPLE WONT EVEN GIVE ME SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A HUG. SO SCREW ALL OF YOU.
OHS AND YEAH. I DONT PEOPLE DON'T EVEN CONSIDER ME THEIR BESTFRIENDSALTHOUGH I'VE KNOWN THEM FOR YEARS. YEARS I TELL YOU!! AND THEY MAKE THE ONES WHO THEY MET FOR A WEEK THEIR BESTFRIENDS. WHAT WAS I ALL ALONG?
Monday, April 6, 2009
and i crossed this out..
urgh. finally, all my shitty science exams is finished!
if i pass chemistry this time, i'll be effing happy.
seriously lah. that mr balan shit-face,
its like as if he got the questions from his fucking daydreamy-land!
according to akanksha.
Anyways....
i can't believe she's LEAVING!
shit lah. akanksha has been like my best friend ever since primary six and now, four years later,
she's abandoning me.
everyone is.
sakshi, emi, sushmita, akanksha..
only member of the giggle's gang left is me and nahla.
and i don't even giggle alort.
FUCK YOU INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS; FUCK FUCK FUCK!
ohs and right now, im obsessed with photgraphy, abs and faishal....punyer camera.
fuck you faishal! hahahaha
FUCK PMS. FUCK PERIODS. WHY DON'T GUYS GET PERIODS? WHY MUST THE GIRLS GET PREGNANT? WHY CAN'T GUYS GET PREGNANT? WHY TORTURE US GIRLS?WHY GIVE US CRAMPS? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? W-H-Y?
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