cause every time i see your bubbly face

i get tingles in a silly place

random question

have any of you people ever had feelings for someone, but the feelings are just too strong for you to control them?

i have.

but wait, that's not even the worst part. the worst part is the fact that i can never get to be with my crush, no matter how perfect i am because he literally doesn't know i exist. (truth be told, he doesn't know me because he's a freakin' celebrity.) no. no wait. that's not the worst part. i'm getting there so bear with me. the worst part is i cannot control my wonderful feelings and everytime i think of him being with another girl, i cry my freakin' heart out because i know that i will never be as lucky as she is. i don't even dare to dream about dating him because i don't want to be disappointed when the dream won't come true. i'm not even worthy enough to date him in my dreams. no wait. that's not even the worst part.

wait. there's more.

i mean, even if i get to meet him in real life, i'd just be another fan girl. another random girl in the crowd screaming "i love you." knowing he will never return it. smile at him knowing he gets paid to return it, shake his hand knowing he gets more fans by doing it. comment on his pictures, stalk him, join forums and talk about him 24/7, think about him, discuss and download pictures of him. watch funny videos about him.. etc. i'm sick and tired of having crushes on men who will never (in a million years) return it.

and that's not even the worst part.

i hate the feeling i get when i see his picture, feeling the tingles in all the funny places. making me think and dream about him like as if i know him personally. i hate the feeling of wanting more of him, wanting to touch him, to kiss him...

i hate the fact that he is not allowed to date because of all the bloody fan girls out there, i hate the fact that he's famous in asia and the us of a. i hate the fact that i will never get to know him. i hate the fact that i google him. i hate the fact that i feel like a bloody stalker, etc.

and that's not even the worst part.

the worst part is, the more i hate. the more i want.

i think he intoxicated me.