Happy birthday...but some how, it's not a merry event any more.

Good news :- Bday's coming up (: It's the 2nd of September.
Bad news :- It's on the first day of school.

Good news:- I've stopped crying at night.
Bad news:- I started crying every morning and in my dreams.

Good news :- I'm 16 this year.
Bad news:- I'm older.

Good news:- I can get anything I want.
Bad news:- But nothing stupid. Sorry Tasha, can't visit you in Canada right now :(

Good news:- Mom paid my boxing fees.
Bad news:- My hands smell after boxing (:

Good news :- I composed a song, and I'm writing a novel right now
Bad news :- Since it's about my baby (princess), I start crying and end up sleeping.

Good news :- My mom started cooking rice again.
Bad news :- I just don't have the appetite to eat.

I can't sleep any more. Because every time I close my eyes, I hear her calling me and asking for me. She sounded so confused and every time I wake up, I start crying. I start wishing that she would chase my to the bathroom and wait patiently outside for me. Whenever, I go to the kitchen, the water will always be full. Usually, when she's here, I would have to re-fill it once every few hours. Whenever I hear something drop, I always shout her name, but now, she will never be able to hear me. Whenever I see the windows open, I would always imagine her looking out, hearing the birds chirping. Whenever I hear the sound of a bell, I would always wish it was her. Whenever I hear 'Umbrella', I would remember when I used to sing that song and she used to shut up. Whenever I sleep in my bed, I will remember her curled up right beside me and purr. Whenever I look out, I would always hear her meow. Asking me to let her in. Whenever I lie in the couch, I would always wait for her to catch my hand. And scratch the couch. Whenever I see her brush, I would remember how i hated brushing her. I remember every single moment, every single detail about her. But now since she's gone, I feel so empty. Like there's this hole inside me and nothing can fill it up. Whenever I look at my clothes, I would always imagine her, clawing it. Biting it. I miss her. Nothing's been the same. Now wherever I look, I don't see her anymore. She used to make me laugh, make me smile at her goofiness. Now, since she is gone, I hardly laugh. But I do fake a smile sometimes. I miss her.

MUM, ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS MY PRINCESS BACK.